One-Shoulder Maxi Dress: With a Statement Necklace

Many years ago, we visited Bali on our honeymoon. My husband and I had never been to Bali before and it was the destination we were both looking forward to the most. We arrived at our resort late at night and it looked so beautiful in the darkness, with small lights glowing in the various cottages dotted around the landscape.  The humidity in the air, the smell of the flowers and the chirping of the crickets all seemed so welcoming as we were led down the winding path to our cottage. Just before we reached our destination, a beautiful woman seemed to miraculously emerge from behind the bushes and  startled us.  “Good evening Mr. and Mrs. Singh”, she said with folded hands, in the most sing-song voice I had ever heard and then silently disappeared into the night again.

For the rest of our stay, every time we would be walking around the resort at night, she seemed to magically appear from behind a bush to greet us.  Just when we were least expecting her, she would be standing before us with folded hands, a lovely smile and her sing-song voice. After a few days, her appearances became a kind of comedy horror show where we found ourselves on the constant lookout for her every time darkness fell. She unnerved me with her silent appearances and equally sudden disappearances. My husband and I came to the conclusion that she either worked very long shifts and appearing silently from behind the bushes was part of her job description or perhaps…just perhaps… she was a figment of our imagination!

For some reason, this one shoulder dress reminds me of her.  Perhaps she was wearing a garment similar to this but for some unexplainable reason every time I put this dress on I feel the urge to fold my hands and say, “Good evening Mr. Singh”, to my husband.  I haven’t jumped out at him from behind the bushes yet but that would be a real laugh! I love the free-flowing nature of this dress and it moves beautifully when I walk.  I have paired it with an ethnic statement necklace that I have lookbooked before (Statement Necklace: With a Peplum Top and a Trench Coat) and I think it is amazing how well the necklace works with two very different outfits.

I bought this dress from H&M last year but I have included some examples below of lovely             one-shoulder dresses that are available now. I hope you enjoy this look and have a fabulous weekend! Thank you so much for reading.

(Clothes and Accessories: Dress – H&M, Sandals – Payless shoe Source, Necklace – Khan Market (New Delhi)

Massimo Dutti
Coast
Mango

Statement Necklace: With a Peplum Top and a Trench Coat

When I bought this necklace from a shop in Khan market in New Delhi last year, I had visions of me in a floaty white kaftan on a beach somewhere, whiling away my time as I waited for my foot massage to begin (wearing this necklace of course). In reality, I live in the UK, it is winter and the chances of me getting a foot massage on a beach are about as high as Karan Johar calling to buy the film script I wrote. Therefore, I am sticking to my earlier resolution of incorporating my vacation purchases into my daily wardrobe and not waiting for special occasions to warrant wearing them (as discussed in an earlier post – Mirror Work ‘Jhloa Bag’: Vacation Finds With Everyday Wear).

On a different note:

All parents have their own parenting philosophies and I have mine.  I firmly believe that characteristics that we want our children to display as adults are characteristics they must observe on a daily basis in their childhood. Children are far more likely to ‘do as we do’ than ‘do as we say’. In my opinion, the foundation for mutual respect and equality between the genders must be laid at the very beginning of a child’s worldly experience.

To this effect, a good friend of mine, Tina Trikha, who is as fabulous a writer as she is a mother (I have referenced her work in this post – Happy Mother’s Day: ‘Rescue Mission’ Lace Sari and a Much Awaited Book), penned this letter to her son on his 10th birthday. I thought the letter articulated a very important message very well and I asked her if I could share the letter on my blog with my readers.

Dear Son,

One of my proudest moments as a mother came a couple of years ago when you lost a squash match to a girl. You were both playing in the under-9 age group category. You shook her hand at the end of the game, just as you had been instructed to do, and stepped out of the court. You looked sad, with your head bent low. As you gathered your belongings from the bench, some of your friends and other players sniggered at you. One even said, “You lost to a girl! How could you?” You said nothing back to them.

I watched you looking out of the window during the car ride home. “Are you ok?” I asked, unsure of how you were feeling. You nodded. And then turned to look at me. “Mom, it feels horrible to lose. But I don’t understand why the other kids made a big deal about me losing to a girl. She played better than I did today.” Your 8-year old mind couldn’t understand why anything other than ability and skill on the court mattered. You were sad about losing, but you showed respect for your opponent.

A few months ago, you told me that you hadn’t understood the instructions for an in-class math assignment because you were daydreaming (your words, not mine!). So, you had asked the “smart girl who is really good at math” in your grade for help (your words again). She graciously helped you out.

And just before the winter break, when we were talking about your track and field class in school, I noticed the admiration in your eyes for a fellow girl student who is better than all the other students (boys and girls) in the high jump. “Mom, she FLIES over the bar! No one else comes close.”

I have learned a lot about gender equality from you. I’ve learned from you that true gender equality means turning a blind eye to stereotypes on what boys and girls are “supposed to do” or how they are “expected to behave.” It means letting skills, capabilities and hard work be the only determining factors. It means not making excuses based on gender and giving credit where it is due.

Tomorrow you will turn 10. Double digits! It’s an exciting milestone. Hard to believe how quickly time has flown by. I am writing to you today because a lot of the beliefs that you seem to hold naturally will be tested in the coming years. As physical differences become more pronounced your current mixed-gender sports teams will become separated into boys and girls teams. It may not be long before you hear “locker room banter,” where women are spoken about in impolite terms. Some of your friends may describe this talk as “harmless and natural,” but it’s a slippery slope. I hope that when that talk happens, you will take offense. Not because I want you to think about your sister or your mother when you hear it. But, because it is wrong. Have zero tolerance towards it. You will hear people say, “Just chill. It’s just talk.” Remember that it isn’t too long before words become action; becomes part of regular behavior and attitude and ultimately defines the character of a person.

Don’t let your character change, my son. I still have a lot to learn from you.

Love,
Mom

Thank you for visiting my blog and have a great weekend! Happy Lohri!

(Clothes and Accessories: Peplum Sweater – COS, Trousers – ASOS, Necklace – Khan Market New Delhi , Shoes – Calvin Klein, Handbag – Modalu , Trench Coat – Warehouse )